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In the
early 1980s I bought an English MG sports car for parts. I
cut up the body into 4 pieces, put them in the back of my
truck and under cover of darkness threw them on the Upjohn
scrap metal pile at the back of the Portage site.
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One time
in the 1980s I had pork for lunch in the building 41
cafeteria and got food poisoning. Within an hour I was
feeling so sick that I had to go home. I made it out to the
parking lot but had to kneel on the grass next to Bishop
Road and throw up repeatedly.
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One hot
summer day I was driving north on Portage Road after work in
Building 259. I looked in my rear-view mirror and there was
a blizzard going on behind me. Really, all I could see
behind me was billowing snow in mid-summer! It turned out
that some joker I worked with had put a large open box
filled with white stryrofoam peanuts in the back of my
truck.
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I worked
in Building 233 in 1982. That building is at the very south
end of the Portage site, next to the Upjohn Park. Directly
across Portage Rd there was a sandwich shop. Rather than
drive out through the guardhouse on Center St to the
sandwich shop, a co-worker thought it a lot easier to climb
the perimeter fence and walk through the park. He saw one
group having lunch but figured they would ignore him. Alas,
it was a group of guards having lunch. They beckoned him
over to them and told him never to do that again.
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One
manager in my building was having a hot romance. His girl
would call him and leave steamy phone messages. This was in
the days before the Rolm system when each phone had a tape
machine. When he was out of the building, we would go into
his office and turn the tape machine volume on high so when
his girlfriend called we could all hear every steamy thing
she said.
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One
co-worker spent so much time in the bathroom stall we would
sneak in and put the magnetic name plate from his office on
the stall door.
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One male
co-worker in my lab was having a secret affair. But I had
figured it out. When she
would call to talk to him, I would make a point of quietly
talking to her for 5 minutes before telling my co-worker
that the call was for him. He would be so mad at me.
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One time
a machine repairman made the mistake of parking his van in
my VP's assigned parking spot. The VP was furious. He made
one of his directors use a company car to block in the
repairman in so he couldn't leave. Of course, Upjohn was
paying that repairman by the hour so all this did was cost
the company more money.
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One dark
winter morning I walked into my building very early and decided to take a look at a book in our library,
which was a separate room. I walked in and switched the
light on. Two people who worked in my building were having
sex on one of the library tables. I turned around, flipped
the light off and left the room. I didn't report it and nothing was ever said by
the participants.
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A day and
evening at Brook Lodge resulted in too much alcohol and rich
food being consumed. I had to throw up in that beautiful
pond.
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When I
worked in Building 233 we used to have regular BBQs used a
charcoal grill outside the front entrance. One day somebody
outside another building saw the smoke from the grill and thought Building
233 was on fire. The fire truck arrived and confiscated our grill.
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In the
early 1980s we used to watch the Kalamazoo Air Show from
the roof of Building 259. We got comfortable in chairs and
had drinks.
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When
speed bumps were first introduced to the roads within the
Portage site, they were quickly added before any signs for
them had arrived. My boss didn't notice one of them, went over
it at speed and the muffler was knocked off her car.
